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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27383731">My bestfriend Ana</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyChaosmaker/pseuds/TinyChaosmaker'>TinyChaosmaker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anorexia, Bulimia, Eating Disorders, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Other, Self-Harm, Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:55:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,945</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27383731</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyChaosmaker/pseuds/TinyChaosmaker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was 4:23 in the morning and he was out running. He had been running for almost an hour. He had been running later in the morning but the others started asking questions about it. So he switched it up so he snuck out earlier to go run. </p><p> Virgil glanced at his watch. Six more minutes. Just gotta keep going for six more minutes. He was having a hard time breathing. He felt dizzy. He knew that this was the time to stop. That he needed to stop. Not just the running. He had a lot more he needed to stop doing. </p><p>  But he couldn’t stop. </p><p> So he kept running. </p><p> He snuck back to his room and fell into bed fully clothed. He was asleep in seconds.</p><p> He got a plain cup of black coffee for breakfast. No one else pointed it out. They knew he preferred to eat alone. A simple lie that excused himself from having to eat around them. Or at all. He slowly sipped at his coffee, the dark circles under his eyes worse than normal. No one noticed that it wasn’t makeup anymore.</p><p> “How are you this morning?” Logan asked.</p><p> Virgil blinked and realized that everyone was looking at him. “Peachy.” He said sarcastically. </p><p> “That’s great!” Patton said.</p><p> “He was being sarcastic!” Roman said, rolling his eyes.</p><p> “What’s wrong?” Logan frowned.</p><p>  Virgil stood to get more coffee. “Just didn’t sleep.” </p><p> “Is that why you left for a walk last night?” Logan asked.</p><p> Virgil winced and his hand shook as he poured the coffee he cursed as he burnt his hand. “Ah fuck!” </p><p> “What happened?” Patton said quickly standing up. </p><p> “It’s fine I just burnt my hand.” Virgil said sharply, making Patton back off.</p><p> “He’s just trying to help.” Roman said.</p><p>  Virgil was busy cleaning up the mess with a paper towel. He grabbed his coffee and left. The stinging in his hand worsened as time passed. But it was dull compared to the hunger pains. </p><p>  He scowled at himself in the mirror. It wasn’t even about weight anymore. It was about control. About not breaking the rules he made for himself when Roman and Janus joked about his weight. He hadn’t thought there was anything wrong with himself before that. </p><p> But he couldn’t stop thinking about what they said. So he stopped eating. He cut out energy drinks and started exercising. </p><p> He was thinner than he thought possible. He dressed in baggy clothes because that’s just his style but for once he wished he had the confidence to wear something form fitting. </p><p> “Why? so they can laugh at how gross you look?” The voice in his head whispered.</p><p>   Virgil looked away from the mirror. He didn’t know why he kept it. A reminder of his failure maybe? Did he really hate himself that much?</p><p> He sat down and put on some music. Something to focus on that wasn’t his appearance or food. </p><p> It didn’t work well. </p><p>---</p><p> “I’m getting worried about you.” Patton said.</p><p> “Why?” Virgil asked.</p><p> “You never eat.” Patton said.</p><p> Virgil rolled his eyes pretending that comment didn’t scare him. That someone figured it out. He didn’t want their pity or disgust. “I don’t like eating around other people.”</p><p> “I know but..When was the last time you ate? I haven’t seen you get any food to eat alone!” Patton said.</p><p> “Well you must not have been watching. I ate last night.” Virgil said. That much was true. He ate, and ate, and ate until he puked it all back up. He had to throw up in his room because throwing up in the bathroom at night was so loud. He still had to get rid of the evidence of his failure.</p><p> Patton frowned. “You’re getting thinner.” </p><p> “That’s not a bad thing.” Virgil argued. Patton reached over and pulled Virgil’s sleeve up. </p><p> “You are a skeleton!” </p><p> Virgil ripped his arm away. “That’s none of your business!” He snapped, shaking a little.</p><p> Patton crossed his arms, “Of course it is! I care about you!” </p><p>“Yeah? Well I wish you would just leave me alone!” Virgil snapped before leaving. Or at least trying before seeing Logan block the doorway. </p><p> “Out of my way.” Virgil said.</p><p> “Virgil We are worried about your health. You seem to have developed an eating disorder.” Logan said.</p><p> “I have not! Now move!” Virgil shoved him. It didn’t do much. He was too weak to actually move Logan by force. Logan seemed to count on that. </p><p>  “Prove it.” Roman said appearing in the other doorway. </p><p> Virgil was cornered and he knew it. He glared at them. “Fine!”</p><p> </p><p> They followed him to the kitchen where he grabbed a large candy bar and ate half of it in one bite. He finished it quickly. “There? Happy?” </p><p> “That wasn’t real food.” Logan pointed out.</p><p> “I don’t like eating in front of people!” Virgil snapped.</p><p> “Then get some food, we’ll wait in the other room and come back in once you’re finished eating.” Logan suggested.</p><p> “I’m fine. Can’t you just drop this?” Virgil asked.</p><p> “You’re killing yourself!” Roman said. </p><p> “I thought you of all people would be happy about that!” Virgil snapped back.</p><p> Silence.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You think I want you dead?” Roman asked.</p><p> Virgil scoffed, “You haven’t exactly been subtle about your hatred of me.” Roman stared at him as he kept talking. “The way I act, the way I look, who I am. You never shut up about it! There’s always something wrong with me isn’t there? First I was too fat, now I’m too thin? Make up your fucking mind!”</p><p> Roman opened his mouth to speak but found he couldn’t say anything. Patton and Logan both stared and shifted awkwardly unsure what to do. </p><p> Virgil managed to rush past them to the stairs. He got to his room and slammed the door shut before locking. Now he could freak out in private. </p><p> He was shaking from the panic rising in his chest. No no no! This wasn’t supposed to go down like this! He was supposed to go unnoticed until he died! They weren’t supposed to figure it out. </p><p> Knocking at his door. “Fuck off!” He snapped.</p><p> “Please come out?” Patton asked. “We’re sorry we pressured you.”</p><p> “I don’t care!” </p><p> “This isn’t healthy. You need help.” Logan said.</p><p> “I SAID I DON’T CARE!” He yelled at the door.</p><p> “I’m sorry. I don’t hate you and I do not want you to die. Please open the door?” Roman asked.</p><p> Part of Virgil listened to him. The other part was still pissed off. “What part of fuck off did you not get?” He snapped.</p><p> He listened to them slowly walk away. They had the upper hand here, he would have to come out sometime.</p><p> ….</p><p> Unless he didn’t. </p><p>---</p><p> Two days passed before he caved and left in the middle of the night. He froze when a light was flipped on and all three of them were waiting for him in various states of awareness. Roman was almost completely asleep while Logan was wide awake.</p><p> “Please don’t run.” Patton said rubbing his eyes. Virgil sighed and continued into the kitchen. </p><p>  “What are you doing?” Virgil asked as they followed him. </p><p> “Oh...were you...we can wait in the other room if you were going to eat.” Roman said awkward.</p><p> Virgil glared at him. He needed to eat something but that comment made him what to never eat again. </p><p> Patton was quick to drag Roman from the room. Logan just eyed him for a few moments longer before following them out of the room. Virgil took a breath.</p><p>  Virgil found leftover pizza and warmed the smallest piece he could find in the microwave. “Sure you want to eat that?” The voice asked, it sounded a lot like something Janus once said to him. </p><p> “Shut up.” Virgil growled at it. Or maybe that was his stomach. He wouldn’t be surprised if it got so hungry it started talking. </p><p> He ate slowly without tasting. It was just numbers instead of flavor. He only ate half of it before his stomach turned and he threw the rest away. He drained two glasses of water before going into the other room where they were waiting.</p><p> “Alright. So are you guys going to be annoying about this or are you going to leave me alone?” Virgil said, crossing his arms.</p><p> “We are concerned for your safety so I believe we will be annoying.” Logan said.</p><p>  “We don’t want to lose you.” Alright that hit home. He’s gaze softened.</p><p> “I truly am sorry about everything I said that made you feel like I hated you.” Roman said sincerely. </p><p> Virgil threw his hands in the air. “Fine! Ok! Apology accepted or whatever.” </p><p> “So you’ll start eating better?” Roman asked excitedly.</p><p> “Screw that!” Virgil snapped, the floor seemed to sway a little. </p><p> “Virgil you can not continue like this.” Logan said his words slightly muffled. Why was it muffled? “You’ve already caused a large amount of damage to your body and continuing with only….are you alright?” </p><p> “Huh?” Was all he could say before he blacked out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. argument.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Virgil noticed was that he was warm. He couldn’t remember the last time he was really warm. Next was the pleasant feeling of being held. Something he hadn’t felt in even longer. The last thing was that something was wrapped around his inner arm. He opened his eyes and found himself hooked up to an I.V. </p><p> Great.</p><p>  Patton pulled back as Virgil groaned. “Oh no Did I hurt you?” </p><p> “I’m fine.” Virgil said weakly.</p><p> “You passed out.” Roman said from the corner of the room. </p><p> “It happens.” Virgil said brushing it off, making it seem unimportant. It had the opposite effect.</p><p> “WHAT?” Three voices yelled at him. </p><p> “That’s happened before??” Roman yelled.</p><p> “How often?” Logan asked quickly. </p><p> “Why didn’t you tell us?” Patton added.</p><p> “I’m fine! I handle it when it happens!” Virgil snapped. Tired and pissed off, but mostly afraid. He had a clear routine and they were going to ruin it. He didn’t know what happened next and that just worsened his anxiety. </p><p> “Because you’re doing such a good job of that.” Janus said drily from the doorway. </p><p> Virgil bolted upright. “What the fuck is he doing here?” He yelled. </p><p> “I’m here to help.” </p><p> Virgil stared for a second before laughing. “Oh I think you’ve done enough of that!” He growled at him.</p><p> Then something happened that Virgil didn’t expect. Janus looked...guilty. Just like Roman. </p><p> “I never thought you would take it this far.” Janus said softly.</p><p> “Maybe you should have thought before you spoke asshole.” Virgil snapped.</p><p> “What are you talking about?” Logan asked.</p><p> Janus shifted, “That doesn’t matter at the moment.” </p><p> “Good for you that you don’t want to talk about it.” Virgil tried crossing his arms but was caught by the I.V.</p><p> “You implied that he did something to you?” Logan asked.</p><p> Roman shot Janus a glare. </p><p> “Oh nothing worse than Roman.” Virgil said. Roman whipped his head around shocked. </p><p> “What did I do?” Roman asked.</p><p> Virgil raised an eyebrow. “You never insulted me for eating.” He said sarcastically. </p><p> “You did what?” Patton yelled. Roman frowned confused before he got it.</p><p> “That was...You ate at weird times!” Roman said. “Like right before bed!” </p><p> “I stay up way later than you do.” Virgil said sharply. “And you know that wasn’t the whole thing.” </p><p> “So both of you make fun of Virgil’s eating habits?” Logan asked.</p><p> “He’s overreacting!” Janus said. “This is just a tantrum.”</p><p> </p><p> Right like they hadn’t wrecked his mental health and drove him to starving himself. “Right.” Virgil said looking done.</p><p> He let the conversion move on without him tuning it out.</p>
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